suzannesjourney

Faith A Gift Of God

2006-08-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

I am in the Ohio School of Ministry for the Assemblies of God and I have my next weekend class coming up 18th-19th. The class I am taking is on the "Prison Epistles: Ephesians, Phillippians, Colossians, & Philemon."

I was doing part of my homework the other night focusing on the book of Ephesians, and I got really caught up in one part of it and wanted to share it ya'll.

The textbook for the class is "The Expositor's Bible Commentary: Volune II". The book of Ephesians is done by A. Skevington Wood.

The verse in Ephesians I was focusing on was 2:8 and I will list a couple of translations of that verse here:

"For it is by grace you have been saved through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God" (NIV)

"Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish!" (The Message)

The following is a quote from A. Skevington Wood on that verse:

"Faith however is not a quality, a virtue or a faculty. It is not something man can produce. It is simply a trustful response that is itself evoked by the Holy Spirit. Lest faith should be in any misinterpreted as man's contribution to his own salvation, Paul immediately adds a rider to explain that nothing is our own doing but everything is in the gift of God."

The part I have bolded is what has really hit me. Faith is not something I can produce.

Being physically disabled, I have always struggled with why God hasn't healed me. Some well meaning religious people throughout the years have told me, "Suzanne, you just don't have enough faith" or "you just don't want it bad enough". Boy, if those people only knew how much they were wrong and how much they wounded me.

Their comments have left me constantly trying to "have enough" faith and it has been frustrating because I don't know how to get any more faith. Thus, how to get healed? What is the formula to get more faith???? What do I have to do to get more faith??? Cuz I'll do it.

So...if faith is not something I can produce or manufacture- it takes the pressure off of me! I don't have to do it.....God does!

Wood also says, "It is simply a trustful response that is itself evoked by the Holy Spirit. " So, I just have to put my trust into the Holy Spirit and let Him do the work in me.

Throughout the years of 'trying to have enough faith', it has left me feeling like a total failure in the "faith arena"....like I have totolly failed God and that is why I haven't been healed. But in light of my new found revelation, I AM NOT A FAILURE - I AM JUST IN PROCESS! God is doing a deeper work and it is not about me or what I am or am not doing. It is all about God his His plan and His purposes in my life.

"I don't think the way you think.
The way you work isn't they way I work."
God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don't go back until they've watered the earth.
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They'll do the work I sent them to do,
they'll complete the assignment I gave them."
Isaiah 55:8-11 (The Message)

I Need You More

2006-07-19T22:14:00.000-05:00

I wasn't sure what to blog today until this evening when I spent some time in intimate worship. I really had an sweet time of worship with my Jesus. I began singing the song by Lindell Cooley, "I Need You More".

As I was singing the song, I found my heart crying out to Him...literally crying. I poured my heart out to Him in a way I haven't ever done I think. As I was holding one chord on my keyboard, I cried and cried, and poured and poured my heart out to Him. I found a release...it was so sweet and a sweet sweet peace came over me. It was totally awesome.

One of the things I found myself praying was:

"Lord, this can't be all there is to my life......there has to be more....there has to be more! There has to be a greater purpose and destiny that I haven't reached yet. Tell me Lord that there is more....tell me that I wasn't created just for what I see in front of me and behind me in my past...tell me there is more.....I need to know that there is more. That my life is going to make a difference in someone's life...that is is not just all about me....that you are going to use me to do what you have called me to do whatever that is! I want to know You like I have never know You before....I want to see you face to face....I want to look into Your eyes.....I want to feel Your loving arms around me, holding me. I want You to come and sit on my bed and hold me. I want to put my head on your chest and hear Your heartbeat. I want to feel the wamrth of Your body as it warms my cold cold heart. I want You and only You....I need You and only You.....I need You.....I need You......Come......Come.....Come.......I love you.....I love You....I love You."

I Need You More

I need You more, more than yesterday
I need You Lord, more than words can say
I need You more than ever before
I need You Lord, I need You Lord

More than the air I breathe, more than the song I sing
More than the next heart beat, more than anything
And Lord as the time goes by, I'll be by Your side
'Cause I never want to go back to my old life.

I need You more, more than yesterday
I need You Lord, more than words can say
I need You more than ever before
I need You Lord, I need You Lord

Words by Lindell Cooley

When I Have Time......Yeah Right!

2006-07-18T15:25:00.000-05:00

I love this blogging thing, but it seems everyday I tell myself, "I'll blog tomorrow when I am not busy, or tired, or frustrated, or yada yada yada.....".

It seems there is never enough time to do everything that needs to be done. The phrase, "when I have time" goes around in my head like a broken record!!

Getting myself to sit still and focus is a difficult task. It doesn't take much to just sit down and blog what is happening in my life. So, why is it so hard to be faithful in my blogging???? Does anyone else have trouble with this??

I guess my thoughts, ideas, revelations, and my creativity just doesn't get expressed like it should. I have to work on this and do better. I guess my perfectionistic ways tell me, "I can't blog until I have a pre-arranged thought process or 'article' before I can blog".....please anyone give me suggestions on the blogging world. I read my friends blogs and they are great and I think, "boy if I could just blog like them - I would have it".

I guess I need to just let go and blog blog blog blog blog blog..........

I want to leave you with a scripture and a thought:

"But the Lord still waits for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for him to help them. He will be gracious if you ask him for help. He will respond instantly to the sound of your cries." Isaiah 30:18 & 19b (NLT)

"Who the enemy is condemning, the Lord is commending."

Let the Walls Come Down......

2006-07-07T14:09:00.000-05:00

God does use the world of blogging for HIS DIVINE APPOINTMENTS!

god has placed me in a season where i must be open and honest. my normal defense mechanisms either won't work or are not allowed. suzanne's way of coping in life was to put walls up and not allow anyone REALLY in, but that isn't the way HE wants me to do things any longer.

it all started about about 2 months ago, when i began corresponding with someone i met through a friend's blog. as it would, for some reason, i felt safe enough to open up to this gal and share with her things i've never shared with anyone. we would chat online for hours. emailing many, many times a day. i believe God hooked the two of us together - He orchestrated the whole thing. He is so good about divine appointments and this was one for the books.

somehow, after only knowing her for a few short weeks, we planned for me to come down to her place for a visit and see what God would do during my time there. i was at a desperate place and needed God to reveal Himself to me in a big way. i could no longer go on 'coping' as i was and i was determined not to do so. i pretty much had thrown all my cards on the table and told God that if He didn't meet me while i was down in south carolina visiting my new friend, then i was done with life!

i am not ready to really blog about my whole trip down to south carolina and i am still really journaling about also. i have already written almost 10 pages and i will share more as the days progress - i promise. let's just say - God showed up in power and i had a face-to-face revelation with Him.

the main thing i was to emphasize is that none of this would have happened if i hadn't let a wall down and allowed God to use this new friend to minister His love to me. i had to open up and be totally honest with Him and with His creature that He placed in my life.

walls may protect us from hurt and harm, but walls can also keep the good stuff out too. in the midst of me protecting myself, i also keep a loving God from revealing Himself to me. i am not saying that i have arrived and that all my walls are down and i am totally open and honest 24/7, but i believe i am on the road to transperancy with Him and those He places in my life.

the first part is being willing and i am sure trying.......

"Search me, O God and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thought.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139:23-24

there there now

2006-07-06T09:33:00.000-05:00

you did something to the template....all is well now...

NOW>>>>>>>
you must write your story.....
one of desperation to revelation.....

love you sis.......
maryann (the bloggin addict)

Casting Your Cares

2006-06-05T21:09:00.000-05:00

My Child:

You think you're all alone. You think no one cares. "What's the use," you say. What's the use? Hush, child. Still your mind. From time to time, everyone hurts. It isn't the end of the world. You've experienced hurt before, and it has not defeated you. It will not defeat you this time.

Just turn to Me, child. Stand firm, and do not run away. You are victorious even now, so don't be swayed by the confusion and troubles that surround you.

And don't be moved by the turmoil within you. You are not ruled by circumstances. You can change right now! Instead of reacting in fear, respond in faith! Take action! Do something! Close your senses off to the circumstances and cast all of your cares on Me. Give Me all of your burdens.

It isn't what happens to you in life that causes you to be defeated. It's what you believe about the circumstances of your defeat. Right now, in the middle of your problems, you're standing on dry ground. You'll not drown, for you're in the River of Life. Right now, in the middle of the fiery furnace, you'll not be burned, for I am with you!

Child, you're not going under, your going over! You're going through! The circumstances around you will not defeat you! It isn't necessary for Me to change the circumstances. All you have to do is change. Refuse to quit. Refuse to run. Refuse to react in fear. Just stand firm. Stand on My Word. Have faith in Me, for I have overcome the world.

Lift your head above your problems, and view them from your position from above. For you are above, not beneath. See how small your problems are when you view them from the right perspective?

Rest in Me, child. Abide in Me. Do not fret for one moment forget that My strength is your strength. You, child, are sheltered in the secret place of the Most High, and you abide in the shadow of the Almighty. Stay close to Me. Drop your burdens. Drop them. Give them all to Me. Stay in My presence, and you shall overcome.

Remember that you don't have to stand in faith for something that is already yours. All you have to do is receive it. I have said, "Peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give peace. But I give you the peace that is beyond understanding."

Love, God

Excerpt from "Love Letters From God" by Bonnie G. Schluter

Love Letters From God

2006-06-02T14:21:00.000-05:00

If you have never heard of the book, "Love Letters From God" by Bonnie G. Schluter, then you are missing out on an incredible read and resource. It is a book you don't just read once, but keep it nearby as an everyday reference.

When I first read the book, I read a 'love letter' once a day. It seemed like everyday it was written just for me. Even days when I missed reading one, the next day when I would read the next one - it would still hit right home and apply to what I either had gone through the day before or was facing that particular day.

I thought I would post a 'love letter' daily (if possible- or as often as I can remember to do so) for your enjoyment and encouragement. Each 'love letter' has a title and that is that theme that runs through the letter.

If you haven't read the book or don't have it - I highly recommend you get it.

So for today page 1, "Be A Living Epistle"

My Child:
You have stood tall, and I have heard your voice. From the first moment you made Me the Lord of your life, My resources have been working for you. I have guided you, placed people in your path to minister and encourage you. My eye is ever looking for someone who will show himself strong in My behalf, and I have found such a one in you.
You are My chosen one! I have selected you to be My child, to fellowship with Me and to bring Me pleasure.
I would that My house be filled with sons and daughters. Go and be who you are! Walk as a living epistle, so that others may know Me through you, through you success, your peace, your calm assurance of who you are - a child of the King. Yes, you are that living epistle that I desire. In this way shall you draw others to Me.
My child, I desire that you lack nothing and you shall not want. For I am the Good Shepherd. I take care of My sheep. Rely on Me as the sheep rely on their shepherd. Let Me do it for you. Release your cares on Me. Look to Me for the answers! Seek first My Kingdom and all others things shall be added unto you. Be led by My Spirit, for this is how you are led.
Never make a decision without first consulting Me. I will lead you and guide you by My Spirit. You shall know My voice, because you fellowship with Me in My Word. Keep the lines of communication open always, and you will never be doubtful when you hear My Voice. I am pleased with you, My child. Yes, I am pleased.
I am here with you now. I am always with you. I am your provision. I am your compassion. I am your wisdom. I am your intercessor. I am always on time. I am ready to do some mighty things in your life. I have always been ready. You were not prepared to receive them. Receive now the fullness of your inheritance, as a joint-heir with My Son.
Hold close to Me. Keep your focus single. Do not waver. Be single-minded. Be God-minded. Remember, you have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that you fruit should remain; that whatsoever you shall ask Me in Jesus' name, it shall be given to you (John 15:16)

Love, God

Once again in response to that...."How do you get it to go from your head to your heart and really understand it from you heart????

I opened the book today and just started from page 1 and it so applied to my life right now! Amazing how that works - Isn't it????

I Don't Get It.......

2006-06-01T18:18:00.000-05:00

My whole life, I was 'programmed' to believe a certain way.....to believe certain things. But when it comes down to it, do I truly believe it???? Hell no....it is all a bunch of words to me with no substance in my life.

I know all the scriptures in my head.....all the pat answers....all the right things to say, but I have no idea how to walk it out. I know how to make it 'look' good to those around me, but when I go home to nobody and shut the door to my one room apartment, I find myself a different person.....a person who hates life and hates the life I am living....wondering if this is all there is to life? Then what is the use???

If the next 37 years is going to involve as much pain and suffering as the first.....then I quit! I am tired of never giving up and always 'being strong'.

I don't get how to make my heart understand that which my mind seems to know.....do you get it????