I Need You More

I wasn't sure what to blog today until this evening when I spent some time in intimate worship. I really had an sweet time of worship with my Jesus. I began singing the song by Lindell Cooley, "I Need You More".

As I was singing the song, I found my heart crying out to Him...literally crying. I poured my heart out to Him in a way I haven't ever done I think. As I was holding one chord on my keyboard, I cried and cried, and poured and poured my heart out to Him. I found a release...it was so sweet and a sweet sweet peace came over me. It was totally awesome.

One of the things I found myself praying was:

"Lord, this can't be all there is to my life......there has to be more....there has to be more! There has to be a greater purpose and destiny that I haven't reached yet. Tell me Lord that there is more....tell me that I wasn't created just for what I see in front of me and behind me in my past...tell me there is more.....I need to know that there is more. That my life is going to make a difference in someone's life...that is is not just all about me....that you are going to use me to do what you have called me to do whatever that is! I want to know You like I have never know You before....I want to see you face to face....I want to look into Your eyes.....I want to feel Your loving arms around me, holding me. I want You to come and sit on my bed and hold me. I want to put my head on your chest and hear Your heartbeat. I want to feel the wamrth of Your body as it warms my cold cold heart. I want You and only You....I need You and only You.....I need You.....I need You......Come......Come.....Come.......I love you.....I love You....I love You."

I Need You More

I need You more, more than yesterday
I need You Lord, more than words can say
I need You more than ever before
I need You Lord, I need You Lord

More than the air I breathe, more than the song I sing
More than the next heart beat, more than anything
And Lord as the time goes by, I'll be by Your side
'Cause I never want to go back to my old life.

I need You more, more than yesterday
I need You Lord, more than words can say
I need You more than ever before
I need You Lord, I need You Lord

Words by Lindell Cooley

When I Have Time......Yeah Right!

I love this blogging thing, but it seems everyday I tell myself, "I'll blog tomorrow when I am not busy, or tired, or frustrated, or yada yada yada.....".

It seems there is never enough time to do everything that needs to be done. The phrase, "when I have time" goes around in my head like a broken record!!

Getting myself to sit still and focus is a difficult task. It doesn't take much to just sit down and blog what is happening in my life. So, why is it so hard to be faithful in my blogging???? Does anyone else have trouble with this??

I guess my thoughts, ideas, revelations, and my creativity just doesn't get expressed like it should. I have to work on this and do better. I guess my perfectionistic ways tell me, "I can't blog until I have a pre-arranged thought process or 'article' before I can blog".....please anyone give me suggestions on the blogging world. I read my friends blogs and they are great and I think, "boy if I could just blog like them - I would have it".

I guess I need to just let go and blog blog blog blog blog blog..........

I want to leave you with a scripture and a thought:

"But the Lord still waits for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for him to help them. He will be gracious if you ask him for help. He will respond instantly to the sound of your cries." Isaiah 30:18 & 19b (NLT)

"Who the enemy is condemning, the Lord is commending."

Let the Walls Come Down......

God does use the world of blogging for HIS DIVINE APPOINTMENTS!

god has placed me in a season where i must be open and honest. my normal defense mechanisms either won't work or are not allowed. suzanne's way of coping in life was to put walls up and not allow anyone REALLY in, but that isn't the way HE wants me to do things any longer.

it all started about about 2 months ago, when i began corresponding with someone i met through a friend's blog. as it would, for some reason, i felt safe enough to open up to this gal and share with her things i've never shared with anyone. we would chat online for hours. emailing many, many times a day. i believe God hooked the two of us together - He orchestrated the whole thing. He is so good about divine appointments and this was one for the books.

somehow, after only knowing her for a few short weeks, we planned for me to come down to her place for a visit and see what God would do during my time there. i was at a desperate place and needed God to reveal Himself to me in a big way. i could no longer go on 'coping' as i was and i was determined not to do so. i pretty much had thrown all my cards on the table and told God that if He didn't meet me while i was down in south carolina visiting my new friend, then i was done with life!

i am not ready to really blog about my whole trip down to south carolina and i am still really journaling about also. i have already written almost 10 pages and i will share more as the days progress - i promise. let's just say - God showed up in power and i had a face-to-face revelation with Him.

the main thing i was to emphasize is that none of this would have happened if i hadn't let a wall down and allowed God to use this new friend to minister His love to me. i had to open up and be totally honest with Him and with His creature that He placed in my life.

walls may protect us from hurt and harm, but walls can also keep the good stuff out too. in the midst of me protecting myself, i also keep a loving God from revealing Himself to me. i am not saying that i have arrived and that all my walls are down and i am totally open and honest 24/7, but i believe i am on the road to transperancy with Him and those He places in my life.

the first part is being willing and i am sure trying.......

"Search me, O God and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thought.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139:23-24

there there now

you did something to the template....all is well now...

NOW>>>>>>>
you must write your story.....
one of desperation to revelation.....

love you sis.......
maryann (the bloggin addict)